Archive for June, 2007

Friday’s funny

Posted in Funnies on 06/29/2007 by Susan Shay

Okay, here’s the funny for today.

I had this great idea. “Hey, want to go to Wichita and surprise (sister) Lisa for her birthday? We’ll can take her to dinner, stay all night, then take her shopping the next day.”

Dad thought that was a good idea. Amy loved the idea, and Debbie thought it was a good one, too. Running short on time (as usual) I talked Amy into secretly calling Lisa’s husband and telling him about our plan.    

Then I rushed around, trying to get ready before the appointed leave time. And I made it!

We drove the three hours to Wichita, checked into the hotel, and waited a bit, then met Dad and Romanza at Lisa’s exercise machine store, Home Fitness. When we got there, the door was locked, so we banged on it a moment.

Lisa’s husband let us in.

Then Lisa saw us. “What are y’all doing here?”

Of course, she had to ask it over the noise of us singing Happy Birthday. 

Being the number one sister, I answered, “We’re going out to dinner, and tomorrow, we’re going to take you to have a makeover.”

Not. (this is the punch line.) 

Lisa’s husband had to leave town the next a.m. Early. Lisa had to work.

So we went out to dinner. While we waited for Lisa and her husband, I noticed a couple of hunky guys, waiting to be seated. Very good looking. Very muscular. Being a writer, I observed. <G>

Then Debbie nudged me. “Look! There’s Lisa’s boys!” And she pointed at the hunks.

Lisa’s boys? Those good looking very grown up men are Lisa’s BOYS??? *sigh*  What happened to the skinny little kids they used to be? When did they grow up and learn to carry on a conversation? And become interesting? *double sigh*

I really need to visit Wichita more often.

We had a great dinner. And the next day, we met Lisa for breakfast at The Good Egg before she went to work . The rest of us went shopping. Not being much of a shopper, I dropped after only a few hours. But sister Amy made like the energizer bunny. She kept going and going and going . . . .

Deb and I hitched a ride back to Lisa’s store with Dad. I got reaquainted with Toby (the dog) then I asked to try out one of their pieces of torture equipment. Sorry, I meant workout equipment.

Lisa clamped my ankles into a vise, then explained how to turn myself upside down without having a heart attack. Honestly, it felt wonderful. My spine snapped and stretched. I could feel myself growing taller and taller.

For those who know me–while I was upside down, I didn’t almost smother. (I knew you’d be worried.) 

If I’d stayed in that position much longer, I’d have grown so tall, I could have tried out for a women’s basketball team today instead of working in the office. But my eyes started feeling as if they were going to pop, so I gave up the ancient torture devise to sister Debbie (who did almost smother.) 

We spent the rest of the afternoon until we left trying out the machines and watching Lisa work her magic on the customers. (That girl could sell an ice maker to an Eskimo.)

I really don’t remember how old Lisa is (25 is probably about right) but I know she only keeps getting better.

So Lisa, remember:  When were partners in the lifesaving class? And every time you were supposed to “save” me, I had to secretly kick so we didn’t both go under? When your school teacher made you really mad, so I told you I’d just go burn down her house? When I made you work at the dress shop and you wanted to be off having fun with you-know-who? When I had to take you ( and the other sibs) along with me to the movies because I wasn’t old enough to date, and Dad thought having y’all along would make a difference? (It did.)

Having all those memories and a house full of beautiful sisters is what made life so much fun. And it’s probably why I decided to be a writer. Since I have all you characters in my head anyway, I might as well use you.

Have a great 26th year.  

Happy, happy!

Posted in This and that, Uncategorized on 06/27/2007 by Susan Shay

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday 

 Are you 25 this year?   

Melanie got married!

Posted in writing on 06/27/2007 by Susan Shay

My niece got married Saturday. I wasn’t there.  Crying 1The ceremony was in Mexico with just the immediate family in attendance. But my sister, Debbie, told me all about it. Want to hear the best part?

Almost everyone at the wedding was barefoot.

Can’t you see it? High noon and they’re on the beach, standing under an arch full of flowers with beautiful Melanie in a gorgeous wedding dress (I haven’t seen it but I have great faith in Debbie and Mel’s taste) the ocean a fabulous shade of green (or was it blue?) and the sun is shining. A light breeze is blowing off the ocean so it won’t get too hot. The sand is fine and white, and so deep it gets in everyone’s shoes, so they kick them off. I love it.

When our sister, Amy, got married, as soon as the ceremony was over (and before the reception) all four of us sisters and the maid of honor kicked our shoes into a pile. Amy has a picture in her wedding book (which cost more than my whole wedding) of that pile of shoes. It’s beautiful!

Barefoot. That’s the way to enjoy a reception.

And in Amy’s wedding book, there’s not one picture of me with my mouth open wide, eating cake.

There is a picture of me with my mouth open wide, eating cake in sister Cindy’s wedding book. Hey, it’s good stuff! All that gooey icing? Yum!

I wasn’t in sister Lisa’s wedding. Although she asked me, when she was in the planning stages, I was pregnant (just before having one of my miscarriages) so opted to be left out. Now I wish I’d done it anyway. It wouldn’t have been so bad to be uber pregnant in a bridesmaid’s gown. It would have made for great pictures. <g>

I was in sister Debbie’s wedding. I’d been married for just 6 months and had lost 30 pounds and had my hair cut in a cute style. (First time to have my hair cut by a male beautician.) When the pictures came back, my granddad, who I’d lived next door to almost my whole life, pointed at me and said, “I meant to ask someone at the wedding. Who is that girl?”

My mom couldn’t help laughing. “That’s your favorite granddaughter, Susan.”

And when my brother, Jeff, got married, he didn’t ask me to be his best man. <G> But I was okay with it. The guy he did ask is a better man than I am, and a better tennis player.

My favorite wedding story is our son, Danny’s. He had a surprise wedding–Danny got the surprise! His fiancee, China, was in law school. They were engaged, and she’d started planning the wedding and stressed out at least twice. So she decided to surprise him.

She called me and told me to tell my other sons, my dad and his wife. Her parents and siblings would be there and that was all.

Deanna, our favorite florist, made China’s bouquet for her. (The groom’s family always pays for the bouquet. Right?) 

We all went to the courthouse where she worked and, until time for the wedding, listened to the judge China worked for make rulings. After they’d put all the bad guys in jail, we all waited in the empty courtroom for the couple to get there. 

Finally Danny and China walked in. Danny looked great and China was absolutely beautiful. But when Danny saw all of us sitting there, he turned pale as milk. China looked up at him and said, “Wanna get married?”

Once he caught his breath, he answered, “You bet.”

When the judge asked him the usual questions, he answered loud and clear. “Do you promise to honor and love her?” “You know it.”

“Will you keep her all the days of your life?” “You bet I will!”

And shoes? Danny wore “nice” flip-flops, China wore gorgeous heels, and I had on my strappy high-rises. (Doesn’t wearing really high heels made up of tiny little straps make you feel sexy?)

Are you wondering if I tried the judge’s chair and gavel out for size? You bet I did! I’d make a great judge. 

I have to tell you the best line of the day. At the end of the ceremony, the judge said, “By the power vested in me by the State of Oklahoma and my right as a Texan, I pronounce you man and wife.”

Is that cool or what?

I only hope Deb’s memories of Melanie’s wedding day are as special as my memories of Danny’s.  

Why write?

Posted in writing on 06/23/2007 by Susan Shay

Someone asked me the other day, “Why’d you start writing?”

I had to think fast on that one. “Well, I had to do something.”

The truth is, I love reading and I’ve always wanted to write. From the time I was just a small child, I wanted to write. I just didn’t tell anyone. (My husband was surprised when he found out. Shocked might be a better word.)

To be totally honest, though, it’s more than that.

I write because I love finding the way to a happy ending when it looks as if that HE is impossible to achieve. I write because I like creating characters, then watching them take off and live their own lives.

I write because I can’t paint. (Long story.)

I write because I’m fractured. I’ve wanted to have so many different careers–nurse, geologist, actress, paleontologist, pilot (like Mom), race car driver. I’ve wanted to do so many things–live in Hawaii, visit Ireland, collect antiques, scuba dive, sky dive, travel to exotic places. I’ve wanted to experience, learn, taste, smell, feel so many things. Thing that I haven’t had the time or money (and probably aptitude) for.

Imagining is the next best thing to doing it. And I’ve got a heck of an imagination. (My spelling is just a small example.)  To be able to imagine it well, I have to learn about whatever it is I’m focusing on at the moment. (Yep, I’m incurably curious, too.)

 When I write it, I can actually live it.

Weird, huh? I’ve been told.

Other reasons I write: I like being creative. I enjoy using my talent. I really like the other women in my writers’ group and having friends who understand the voices in my head. And I like being more than just a wife and mother.

Not that I don’t LOVE being both. I do. But think about it–to be both a wife and mother depends on someone else. Being a writer depends only on me and how hard I want to work.  

NOT reasons I write: To get rich, quickly or any other way. <G> To become an overnight sensation. So I can be best friends with Nora Roberts. So I can have lots of book signings. So I can tell other people how. (I don’t remember how from one book to the next.) Because it’s so much fun trying to market the manuscript once it’s finished. Because I love getting up at 4 or 5 every morning to get that day’s writing done. Because it was so darn much fun learning how to make a website. (argh!)

Why do you do what you do? Even if you’re not a writer, why did you decide to be __________? (you fill in the blank) If you don’t want to put a comment up, email me. I’d like to know. (I told you I’m insatiably curious.)

My email address is on my website on the bio page. Come on. Share!          

Scam Warning

Posted in Funnies on 06/22/2007 by Susan Shay

Just a word of warning…I don’t how many of you shop at Sam’s Club or Costco, but this may be useful to know.

I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me and it could happen to you!!

Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 23-year-old, well-built guys come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk.

They both are shirtless and start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their highly-defined chest muscles and rock-hard abs exposed. It’s impossible not to look.

When you thank the man and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to another Sam’s Club or Costco.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start talking dirty about what they want to do to you.

Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and begins kissing your neck and begs you to pull over so he can make love to you!!

While this is going on the other guy steals your purse!!

I had my purse stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday and most likely tomorrow.

Borrowed from Dana Diamond, A Writer’s best friend.


Posted in Funnies on 06/22/2007 by Susan Shay

A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven. To help decide, he asked for a tour of each destination. St. Peter agreed and decided to take him to hell first. As he descended into the fiery pits, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes by demons. “Oh, my,” the writer said, “let me see heaven.”A few moments later, as they ascended into heaven, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes by demons. “Hey,” the writer said, “this is just as bad as hell.”“Oh, no it’s not,” St Peter replied, “here your work gets published!”

Posted in Funnies on 06/22/2007 by Susan Shay

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