Archive for 01/10/2008

Today’s Word Count

Posted in writing on 01/10/2008 by Susan Shay

Thursday’s MMH word count: 1024

That puts me at 45,942. I’m half way there. YAY!!!

Everybody cheer!

Cats and Dogs

Posted in writing on 01/10/2008 by Susan Shay

I got this email from my friend, Dale.

Dear Dogs and Cats,  The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and
dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
  The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me
to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall
faster than you can run.
  I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent
possible . I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues
hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

  For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary
to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and
try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also,
I have been using the bathroom for years — canine or feline attendance is
not required.

  The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I
cannot stress this enough!
        To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on
our front door:

        To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

        1. They live here. You don’t.
        2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That’s why they call it “fur”niture.)
        3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
        4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

        Remember:In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
        1. Eat less
        2. Don’t ask for money all the time
        3 Are easier to train
        4. Normally come when called
        5. Never ask to drive the car
        6. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
        7. Don’t smoke or drink
        8. Don’t have to buy the latest fashions
        9. Don’t w ant to wear your clothes
        10. Don’t need a “gazillion” dollars for college.

        And finally,

        11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

I don’t know what percentage of people in the USA have cats and/or dogs, but most of the people I know and love do. BF Marilyn has six (Yes, 6!) big dogs who all live in her house. She tells a hilarious story about baking her first meringue pie on her blog today. Check it out–

 Pop over and read it if you have a chance. BF Meg has dogs, too. All my sisters and my brother have dogs, but most have only one.

Sister Lisa has a little Jack Russell Terrier, and I swear that dog traded in his legs for springs. Last time I was at her house, this little hound was bouncing up and down so high, he could see over the back of the couch.

#1 son has a golden retriever named Boone. I named my hero in TO SCHOOL A COWBOY after him. 🙂 He’s a great guy, but getting a little old. When he was young, he ate everything. He even chewed the spinkler system off the house, so in this case, old is a good thing.

I have a rescue dog, a Yorkie named Molly, who is the queen of the castle. She rules the place! If it storms, she finds a way through the child gate and comes to our room. Then when the storm is over, she whisper barks to be taken downstairs. (I think she’s afraid of the dark, too.)  This morning I had to come back into the house for my cell phone and found her upstairs. Someone was using a chain saw and she didn’t like the sound. (And you thought I was going to say I caught her using my phone.)

When I had a small fountain on the back porch, I used to buy 3 or 4 gold fish to put in it. Molly loves to fish! She’s hang over the edge of the fountain until one of the goldies got close, then she’s toss it right out on the porch. She never tried to eat them. Just tossed them out and went back to fishing for more. Thank goodness our Koi pond is large enough the fish can get away from her.

We also have a cockatiel named Kenny (after the kid on Southpark). One day DH had let him out and he wouldn’t go back in his cage. We needed to leave, so DH caught him, planning to put him back in his cage for his own protection. The silly bird squawked, flapped and fought until he pulled out of DH’s hands. He dropped to the floor, and Molly was on him like he was a t-bone steak.  

DH went nuts. I went nuts.

Kenny escaped and limped back into his cage, wet all over and minus a few feathers.

Molly has only one problem. She gets lots of ear infections in her furry, floppy ears. And when she does, she shakes her head really hard, over and over again. We know it has to be killing her, so one of us gets the ear medicine (usually me) and hides it in a pocket. The other one grabs Molly and holds her long enough to put a squirt in each ear.

Then Molly runs and hides under the bed for a few days. Or until her ears start hurting so badly, she has to come out to shake her head.

All the rules mentioned above in the article from Dale? They go double for Molly.


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